


family

by appetencies



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, ben and cal are married!!, like lexi is 15 here, lovingly dubbed lexi comes out: the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 03:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appetencies/pseuds/appetencies
Summary: Lexi has something to tell her Dads.





	family

Ben guesses something’s up as soon as Lexi walks down the stairs that morning.

She’s quiet, which always means something’s going on; despite being a full fifteen years old now, she’s no less loud than she was years ago. And she’d been fine yesterday, too; the three of them had had a little movie night, and Callum had cried his eyes out at Love, Simon like he always does. Ben always gets a little teary-eyed at it, and Lexi always cheers at the final kiss as if they hadn’t watched it a million times before already.

So it’s odd now, to be sitting at breakfast, and Lexi is near silent.

Ben gives Callum a little nudge under the table and nods toward Lexi, who’s been staring down at her breakfast for a solid few minutes now. Callum shrugs, before leaning over and tapping her lightly on the arm.

“You alright?” he asks gently, and Lexi jumps a little before her gaze settles on him.

She nods quickly, smile tight at the edges. “Yeah- yeah, sorry. Just- thinking,” she props her head up on her hands. “Could we.. go out for dinner tonight? It’s been a while since we’ve gone out. As a family, I mean.”

Ben raises his eyebrows. Surely that isn’t the whole deal, but. “Yeah, sure. We can invite Jay and your mum, if you want?”

“No!” Lexi exclaims a little too quickly. She pauses and shifts in her seat, taking a single deep breath. “No, just us. I’ve been so busy with exams and all and you’ve both been working so much, I just think it’ll be nice.” she smiles again, a little less nervous this time, and takes a bite out of her previously untouched bacon sandwich.

“Tell you what, I’ll book us a table at that restaurant you like so much.” Ben grins at her across the table. “My treat, yeah? An’ you can get all the ice cream you like, just don’t tell your mum.”

“Deal.” Lexi holds her hand out in the way Ben remembers he used to, all try-hard intimidating. At least Lexi isn’t actually taking herself seriously like Ben did.

As Ben shakes her hand  _ very _ overenthusiastically, he glances back at Callum to see him staring straight at Lexi, brows furrowed.

* * *

“There’s definitely something up with her.” Callum says, later, as they’re getting ready to go out. He’s got his shirt halfway over his head, so it’s a little muffled.

“Could’ve guessed that.” Ben shrugs, rummaging around for the one shirt he saves for special occasions. “Might just be exams or something like she said, to be fair.”

Callum purses his lips, shrugging on a jacket. “Hope there’s nothing else going on. She seemed.. weird this morning. Or was that just me?” he runs a hand through his hair, obviously more than a little stressed about it. Of course he is; as overbearing as Ben can be with Lexi sometimes, Callum’s always been the worrier, always checking if she’s okay or overthinking even the slightest hint of attitude from her. He’s calmed down these days, but.

Ben pulls on his shirt before turning to Callum, gently gripping the front of his jacket. “Not just you. But-” he pauses, tugging his husband down so he can give him a quick kiss. “-she’ll be fine, whatever it is. M’sure of it.”

A small smile breaks across Callum’s features and he leans down to press a kiss to Ben’s forehead. “You’re probably right. Just can’t help worrying about her, sometimes.”

“Think you’ll find that’s called  _ being a good dad,”  _ Ben shoots back, and can’t help the warmth that seeps into his voice. Because even after all these years it’s still kind of hard to believe he’s got this little family; his husband and his daughter and even Lola and Jay. It’s odd, sure, but he knows he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Callum must notice the change in attitude because he pokes Ben in the side, grin all soft at the edges. “Sappy.” he teases, though his voice is equally as warm. 

A few years ago, Ben would have remarked with something about how he isn’t  _ sappy, _ or pried Callum’s arms away from his waist with a laugh and a teasing comment.

Now, he lets himself press into the embrace, says nothing because this is one of those comfortable silences Ben’s been happy to get used to. He looks up into Callum’s eyes and thinks  _ yeah, _ this is definitely an improvement from a few years ago.

Their little moment is interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door and Lexi’s shout of, “Hurry up, I’m  _ hungry!” _

Callum shakes his head fondly before calling back, “Wait for us in the car, we’ll be there in a few,” and stepping out of the embrace. Once Lexi’s footsteps have fully faded away, Callum turns to Ben, eyes glimmering a little. “Just like a little family, we are.”

It sounds casual but the soft way he says it doesn’t go unheard, and Ben nods, murmurs a quiet _ ‘yeah’ _ against his husband’s smile, because.. yeah.

This is his family. And he really does adore it.

* * *

At the restaurant, Ben starts to really think something’s up with Lexi.

In the car, she hardly says anything. She’s all dressed up as well, and usually she’d be banging on about some part of her outfit- like the jacket that Ben bought for her last week or that friendship bracelet she made with Callum that she’s kept since she was nine. But she’s completely silent, even when her favourite song comes on the radio. Hell, she doesn’t even sway along to it.

Ben frowns, and Callum meets his gaze in the mirror. There’s a little exchange between them in those few seconds before Ben has to turn back to the road; Lexi’s upset, and whatever it is they’re not going to let her be in a bad mood all night.

Callum, first out of the car, opens the door for Lexi with a little overdramatic flourish. She hits him on the arm with a little laugh, though it doesn’t sound fully  _ there.  _ Callum tells her to go off and grab them a table while he and Ben get drinks, hiding the crease of worry in his brows surprisingly well.

“Think you were right,” Ben says to him, leaning against the bar and watching Lexi plop herself down at a booth. Now that she doesn’t think she’s being watched, she looks a little… lost. Staring into space, look indescribable. “Think we should try askin’?”

Callum shakes his head, taking their drinks and handing Lexi’s Pepsi (diet, of course) to Ben. “Let’s wait for a bit. Whatever it is, maybe she’ll tell us on her own.”

Ben hums in agreement as they move back to the table. Lexi, upon seeing them, perks up with a little smile and holds her hand out expectantly for her drink. Ben takes a sip of it, just because he can.

“Oi!” Lexi huffs indignantly, near-snatching her drink back from him. She sticks her tongue out at him- she’s never really stopped doing that. “That’s  _ gross.  _ How would you feel if I did that to you?”

“Mad,” Ben says, scooting into his seat next to Callum. “Because this is a drink for  _ the adults.” _

“I am _ fifteen years old,”  _ Lexi counters, despite the fact that she looks at Ben’s beer (this is a _ fancy place _ but really, don’t fix it if ain’t broken,) with a mildly grossed-out look. Ben just laughs and ruffles her hair, much to her dismay.

It goes on like that, for a while; the banter between the three of them. It’s comfortable, and for a while Ben almost forgets about Lexi being upset. But then she slowly starts going quiet, simply poking at her plate of food with her fork. They’re at a buffet, and usually she would’ve cleared out half the place by now- but she’s barely even touched the one plate.

Callum nudges Ben, mouthing  _ told ya.  _ All Ben does is nod for now, watching his daughter pick at her food glumly.

After a minute or so of doing this, he decides to bite the bullet; “Lex?” he asks gently, throwing a sort of warning glance over his shoulder at Callum before patting her on the arm. “You alright?”

Lexi jolts up, and something shifts in her expression; determination, maybe. The kind he’d seen on her face before she’d won the 100 metre in her Year 6 sports day.

“Right, yeah,” she says slowly, and some of that determination gives way to fear. Ben knows his daughter and all her giveaways, but even now he’s trying to figure out exactly  _ what _ she’s thinking. “Um…”

“If there’s something you wanna tell us..” Callum prompts, putting on that soft voice he saves only for Ben and Lexi. Lexi looks back at him with a wobbly smile. She grips her drink with two shaky hands.

“I, um, wanted to. Tell you something.” she starts. Ben’s used to letting people take their time, and over the years has learned to shut up and let them figure things out, but Callum is obviously struggling with it, twitching a little with anxiety. Ben holds his hand under the table, and that seems to help a little at least. “It’s just that- uh. I’m..”

Lexi takes a deep breath, stares them both down, and says, “I’m gay.”

_ “Oh!” _ Ben and Callum both exclaim.

Lexi immediately flushes and stares back down at the table, pushing her glass of Pepsi back and forth between her hands anxiously. “You know, um- I like girls. Lesbian. Yeah. That.”

“Alright, okay.” Ben says first. Callum is quiet, though Ben is too busy looking at Lexi to make sure he’s doing okay as well. “Anything else?”

Lexi blinks at him. “..um. No.” she blinks again, this time seeming surprised.  _ “No. _ That was it.” ever so slowly, a smile stretches across her face, and she repeats; “that was it!”

“It was!” Ben laughs, feeling all that anxiety leave him at once; now he’s just got an overwhelming urge to lean across the table and hug his daughter, but she’s still kind of anxious-looking so he’ll decide against it. “Proud of you, sweetheart.”

He means it, he really does. Because this is something he  _ knows,  _ has been through before and over and over and he’s just happy Lexi got to do it on her own terms, without being forced or feeling terrified or-

Ben’s thoughts are broken by a loud sniffle right next to him.

“Oh my god, Dad- no don’t cry!” Lexi laughs wetly, and Ben all-but darts to his husband’s side to make sure he’s okay.

Callum’s eyes are watering and sure enough there’s already tears making their way down his face, though he’s grinning stupidly wide. “No, no- sorry, I’m just-” he waves at his face with one hand before clearing his throat. “Lex, just- come here,”

Lexi all-but leaps into a hug, and Ben hardly hesitates before joining it.

“Love you.” Ben hears Callum say into Lexi’s hair; he can hear the smile in his voice. “So, so proud of you.”

“Here I thought you’d hate me,” Lexi jokes, though even as she pulls back with a small smile there’s a flash of  _ what if  _ across her expression. Both of them see it- of course they do.

“Hey,” Callum says through his tears. “We would never  _ ever _ ever hate you, especially not- not for this. Like,” he makes a vague kind of flaily gesture before wiping at his eyes again. “No matter what you told us we would never hate you, yeah? Like you could be an axe murderer or something and-”

“What he means,” Ben cuts him off with a laugh and a light elbow to the side. “is that this hardly changes anything. We love you, yeah? And of course we’d never hate you for this, you donut.”

Lexi still has a hand on each of her dads’ arms, and she squeezes lightly as she looks down with a shy smile. She isn’t crying, but her eyes are glimmering with (what Ben hopes are) happy tears. “Yeah, yeah I get it.” she meets their eyes again, fumbling with her words again- “I mean, it’s kind of dumb for me to be worried right? I mean you two are- well, yeah- but I just kept thinking what if for some reason I’m an exception or something? It’s really stupid but-”

“Oi, you.” Ben pokes her in the side. “We get it. You ain’t stupid for being scared, it’s a  _ scary thing.” _ he knows, he knows, they both do. They just- never had anyone to help them through it.

He’s so glad Lexi does. He’s so glad he can be there for her.

Callum recovers a little, which Ben is thankful for because he’s getting properly teary-eyed himself at this point. But all he says, with another laugh, is, “do you want that ice cream now?”

Finally, _ finally,  _ Lexi’s shoulders relax. She gets up from the table, pats both of their shoulders with a smile that for the first time tonight doesn’t look strained. “Yeah. I’ll go get you two sappy losers some cake as well.”

Ben watches her go with warmth spreading throughout his chest, before turning to his husband. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Callum exhales shakily, leaning into Ben’s side. His lips curl up just so, and in this moment he can’t  _ not  _ kiss him, public eyes be damned. When they pull away Callum is all soft-eyed and happy, one arm fitting loose around Ben’s waist.

Sometimes, Ben really can’t believe he has this.

* * *

“I think I knew for a while.” Lexi says over her ice cream.

She’s been talking like this for a while, and Ben and Callum have been happy to let her. Not even about this in particular; about school, about this girl she has a bit of a crush on, about how she’d got nearly top marks on her maths exam and what an achievement that was. Now that the pressure’s off her shoulders, the words don’t stop flowing.

Ben nods along and she continues; “like remember Year 6, at my school disco? Me and that girl were dancing- I think I told you about it- and I looked at her and thought _ wow.”  _ Lexi throws her hands up, and laughs. “And I thought nah, I’m just jealous of her nice dress and hair and _ face.” _

“When I first met your dad I really,  _ really _ liked his coat,” Callum muses, more to himself than anything, but Lexi sputters out a giggle at it regardless. Ben turns to him, incredulous. “It was that- grey one, the really nice one?”

Ben nods, as if he really has to be reminded of that first meeting. He remembers it all too clearly. “Can’t say the same for you, you used to dress horribly.” he pokes his husband in the arm, teasing. “Glad I didn’t meet you when you had that awful hair.”

Lexi’s eyebrows raise, and it does suddenly occur to Ben that she doesn’t really remember Callum before he and Ben were a  _ thing.  _ “I’ll show you the pictures later.” Ben promises. Callum glares at him, feigning annoyance.

Lexi looks between them with a smile, though she quickly purses her lips and looks down at the table. “Can- can I ask you both something?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” Ben replies easily.

“Was it- well-  _ how  _ hard was it when you came out?”

“You’d have to name which time,” Ben jokes, though there’s truth to it. He’s had to come out to someone so many times and probably still will. Like when he’d had to correct Lexi’s head teacher that it was his  _ husband _ he’d have to call if he wanted Lexi in detention, thank you very much, or the millions of times he’s had to explain why he’s Mitchell-Highway because  _ oh, didn’t your wife want your last name?  _ “but the first time..?”

Ben trails off, then. He tries not to touch that memory, has long buried it deep in the depths of his memory. It kind of stings to think of.

“When I came out to my dad-” Callum starts, and Ben squeezes his hand as a silent thanks. “-I mean, you know he’s not really great-”

“He’s  _ shit.”  _ Lexi cuts in, arms folded. Ben doesn’t bother scolding her for language because he deserves to be called far worse, if anything. “I hate him.” this has and always will be her stance on Jonno; ever since Callum had had to explain to her in the gentlest terms possible why she’d never see her grandfather in law- ever since she’d put the pieces together herself- she will fully slag off the man if he’s so much as mentioned in conversation.

“Well. Yeah, but when I came out to him- it was obviously difficult, him being him. But it’s like- I finally wanted to. Not for anyone else, just for me.” Callum explains, and to this day Ben won’t stop being proud of how casually he can talk about these things now. He’s not embarrassed or ashamed of this anymore, doesn’t have to brace himself every time he mentions it. Ben doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to put into words just how happy he is for him.

Lexi nods at Callum’s words, giving a small smile. “Yeah, I.. get that.”

“Is.. that why you didn’t tell us? Did you just- not feel ready yet?” Ben asks, carefully. He had kind of wanted to avoid those types of questions because no matter what they’ve always sounded accusatory to him. Like;  _ how dare you not tell us this thing that you yourself have spent too many years denying, how dare you not tell us as soon as you had the tiniest suspicion. _

“Kind of.” Lexi shifts in her seat, shovelling a spoon of ice cream into her mouth. “I was just- thinking of how people would react. Not you two, not really, but..” she sighs. “People like your dad- like  _ Phil.” _

“Oh,” Ben near-whispers. Then, just a little louder.  _ “Lex…” _

“No, let me speak,” Lexi says firmly, and even Callum blinks in surprise at that. “You pretend he isn’t but- he’s not  _ nice.  _ Not as bad as Cal’s dad, but- you’re always holding back around him, and he always looks relieved when you’re gone.” Of course Ben knows this, of course. He just hates knowing it’s so obvious that he can’t even hide his father’s disdain for him. “And the things he’s said- I don’t know. He’d probably think you  _ made me this way, _ and he’d- take it out on you.”

_ Yeah,  _ Ben thinks, he would. And maybe that’s what hurts most, that Lexi knows this. That this is the reason she couldn’t say anything.

“Lex.” Ben says, evening out his breathing a little bit. “You- you do this on your own terms. But promise- promise you’ll tell me. Don’t let him control how you live your life.”  _ not like I did  _ goes unsaid.

Lexi’s face goes steely, that Mitchell way Ben has seen in the mirror too many times to count. “I won’t.” she replies, and Ben somehow  _ knows  _ she means it. “Like Dad said. I’m doing this for  _ me.  _ I don’t care what he thinks, ‘cause I’ve got my family.”  _ my family  _ she says, and looks right at him and Callum. And that’s when the dam finally breaks.

“My little girl...” Ben whispers, doesn’t even try to hold back the tears. He’s trembling, he knows, as he spreads his arms out. “Come ‘ere.”

For the second time in the past hour, Lexi embraces her dad warmly, presses her face into the fabric of his shirt and grins. “Love you, Dad.”

Ben strokes her hair, meets Callum’s warm gaze over her shoulder. He replies, voice unsteady yet soft, “Love you too. More than anything.”

* * *

That night, Ben can’t sleep.

“You too?” Callum sighs out when Ben wraps his arms around his husband’s front, head resting on his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Ben hums into Callum’s side, shifting a little so he can see just a bit of his expression. “Thinkin’ about Lex.”

Callum nods, and for a few seconds it’s silent again before he says, “I kept thinking, like.. this is what she deserves, all this support.” he turns around to face Ben fully, a hand slipping down to stroke his arm gently. “What  _ we _ deserved, too.”

Ben knows. That whole time he’d been thinking what if this had been what he’d gotten, what if Phil didn’t truly hate him for it. But then he looks at himself and Callum and how much it had fucked them up, and looks at Lexi and promises that if anyone ever puts her through that he will  _ end _ them.

“We deserved better.” Ben says. It’s something he still has trouble admitting; that these things weren’t his fault. That someone other than himself let Ben down somewhere along the line, and even now it still gets to him. But now he knows he couldn’t have controlled them, didn’t have to go on denying himself for the sanity of people like Phil bloody Mitchell.

“I know.” Callum soothes, pressing a soft kiss to Ben’s jaw. “An’ that’s why we’re gonna give her the world.”

“Everythin’ she deserves,” Ben smiles up at him. The moonlight seeping in through the window silhouettes the gentle slope of his features, the curve of his smile. “I think.. she’ll be okay.”

“And if she isn’t?” Callum questions, though there’s no real weight to it.

“We kill whoever hurt her.” Ben shrugs. That would involve killing his dad, probably. Oh well. They’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Callum laughs, though he does pinch Ben’s arm gently. “I’ll lie to the police for you, then.”

“Won’t at least help me hide the bodies?” Ben teases.

Callum pauses and shrugs. “Maybe. Anythin’ for Lexi, yeah?” he says it softer, more serious, and Ben feels his heart melt a little. Ben wouldn’t have expected Callum to be so overprotective of his family (god, _ family)  _ going into this, but now that he’s seen it he can’t imagine that not being the case. He loves him, he really does.

“Yeah.” Ben grins at him, nudging his side. “Even murder.”

“Even murder.” Callum echoes back, barely holding back a giggle.

“Don’t know why you’re laughing,” Ben says, through his own fit of laughter, “I’m dead serious!”

“Oh, me too.” the light hits Callum’s expression just so, highlighting the little sparkle to his eyes, the dimples from his wide smile. Ben can’t help bringing a hand up to cup his cheek, smiling fondly up at his husband.

It’s comfortably silent between them, for a while; they’re content staying like this, feeling the warmth of eachother. Staring into eachother’s eyes like it’s the only thing they’ve ever known.

“You know what,” Ben murmurs, watching the gentle flutter of Callum’s eyelashes. He feels about ready to fall asleep himself, now. “I think we did well.”

“Yeah?” Callum’s voice practically radiates happiness, despite the slight scratchiness of it. He closes his eyes against the soft stroke of Ben’s thumb across his cheek. “I think so, too.”

They fall asleep like that, nestled comfortably into eachother’s space.

Ben knows he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> hey hi!! rly hope yall enjoyed this one, it was rly fun to work on on the side of fi/so (tho i rushed a bit at the end because i DO need to work on next chap of fi/so lol)! big thanks to the person on twt who bought up older lexi bc that inspired this whole thing!
> 
> if u liked the fic feel free to drop a comment or message me! on twt @ caimitcheii and tumblr @ smalltalksmp3 <3


End file.
